Table of Contents
The 10 Commandmants of C Programmers
Children Of Winter
We are Canyoneers
No matter where you're going it's the wrong place. No plan can prevent a stupid person from doing the wrong thing in the wrong place at the wrong time - but a good plan should keep a concentration from forming.
And even, if circumstances required, a contingency plan for his contingency plans' contingency plan.
The fact that some geniuses were laughed at does not imply that all who are laughed at are geniuses. They laughed at Columbus, they laughed at Fulton, they laughed at the Wright brothers. But they also laughed at Bozo the Clown. -- Carl Sagan
A learning experience is one of those things that say, "You know that thing you just did? Don't do that." -- Douglas Adams
The bad news: There is no key to the universe. The good news: It was never locked. -- Swami Beyondananda
Stress, they say, is what happens when the body resists its natural desire to beat the hell out of someone who really deserves it. I hate stress.
Nothing inspires forgiveness quite like revenge. -- Scott Adams
"Like all artists I want to cheat death a little and contribute something to the next generation." -- Dennis Hopper (May 17, 1936 – May 29, 2010)
"Courage is the discovery that you may not win, and trying when you know you can lose." -- //Tom Krause//
No matter how far down the wrong road you’ve gone, turn back. //Turkish proverb//
He who chooses the beginning of a road chooses the place where it leads to. - //Harry Emerson Fosdick//
"Happiness isn't in having what you want, but rather in wanting what you have." -- Fortune Cookie
"The person who risks nothing, does nothing, has nothing, is nothing, and becomes nothing. He may avoid suffering and sorrow, but he simply cannot learn and feel and change and grow and love and live." -- //Anon//
"Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down." —- //Ray Bradbury//
"The secret to my success is that I bit off more than I could chew and chewed as fast as I could." —- //Paul Hogan//
"Only those who dare to fail greatly can ever achieve greatly." —- //Robert F. Kennedy//
Leadership is Responsibility, not privilege, Action, not position, Guidance, not knowledge, and Outcome, not disposition, -- //Dante Shepherd//
"As a leader, you have to not only do the right thing, but be perceived to be doing the right thing. A consequence of seeking a leadership position is being put under intense public scrutiny, being held to high standards, and enhancing a reputation that is constantly under threat." —- //Jeffrey Sonnenfeld and Andrew Ward//
"The programmer, like the poet, works only slightly removed from pure thought-stuff. He builds his castles in the air, from air, creating by exertion of the imagination. Few media of creation are so flexible, so easy to polish and rework, so readily capable of realizing grand conceptual structures. " -- Frederic Brooks, //The Mythical Man Month//
"Let's make a dent in the universe." —- //Steve Jobs//
"If you can't explain it to a six year old, you don't understand it yourself." —- //Albert Einstein//
"Test fast, fail fast, adjust fast." —- //Tom Peters//
"There are only two hard problems in Computer Science: cache invalidation, naming things and off-by-one-errors." -- //Phil Karlton//
"What really is the point of trying to teach anything to anybody?" This question seemed to provoke a murmur of sympathetic approval from up and down the table. Richard continued, "What I mean is that if you really want to understand something, the best way is to try and explain it to someone else. That forces you to sort it out in your mind. And the more slow and dim-witted your pupil, the more you have to break things down into more and more simple ideas. And that's really the essence of programming. By the time you've sorted out a complicated idea into little steps that even a stupid machine can deal with, you've learned something about it yourself. -- //Douglas Adams, Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency//
You can tell he’s evil because he has a goatee and he says things like, “Indeed” and then strokes his goatee. Really most of his evilness comes from the goatee. If he shaved, he might have a sunnier disposition. But who are we to discriminate?
And so, IPv6 was born. Since Vint Cerf is probably immortal (even if his physical form should pass on, heaven forbid, he is probably already existing as some kind of hyper-intelligent ELIZA program out in the depths of the Internet2), no one wants to have to hear him say again "I told you so" if we don't have enough addresses in the next version of the Internet Protocol.
But alas, I think a Reuters editor is sitting in his cube maniacally laughing as he streams Pinky and the Brain on his computer.
When reached for comment, the Charmin Bear kicked his feet up on his desk, smoked a cigar, and said, “Sometimes, bitches have to learn their place.”
"You're a cook. I don't kill cooks. Although...there was that one time in Boston. But all I'd have to do is get the jury to taste his salmon mousse, and there isn't a court in the land that would convict me." -- The Shade, "Incident In An Old Haunt"
"...He's been callous and charismatic, sick, psychotic and enoumously likable. In short, he's everyone's favorite megalomaniac"
"I really wish I could hate you, but I am so in awe of your outright bastardry that I cannot help but admire your style"
Admit it, when you were 7 years old, there were only two things you were sure of: Transformers fucking rule, and the future would be full of flying goddamn cars.
Sheldon: I'm polymerized tree sap and you're an inorganic adhesive, so whatever verbal projectile you launch in my direction is reflected off of me, returns to its original trajectory and adheres to you.
"Cupertino is Henrietta if Spaniards took over... So, not very interesting." - Chowder